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It’s Their Way or the Highway: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist
Symptoms of a Narcissistic Parent
These characteristics help to identify a person with a narcissistic personality:- Lacks empathy or care for others
- Is often arrogant and portrays haughty behaviors
- Demands constant admiration
- Has an inflated sense of self-importance, often exaggerating their achievements
- Provokes and baits you
- Belittles others in an attempt to reassure their own self worth
- Denial about painful circumstances or of their own narcissism
- Intimidation of others with similar or more advanced talents or achievements
- Sense of entitlement
- Often times lies or over exaggerates to prove a point
How to Co-Parent with a Narcissistic Ex-Spouse
There is no winning with a narcissist, only coping. The most important thing to remember is that your child needs a stable role model to set a proper example. Regardless of how your ex-spouse acts, you can control how you respond and deal with the conflict. Below are a few very important tips for co-parenting with a narcissist.- Limit contact and decrease emotional connection.
- Get everything in writing. Promises not kept about paying child support and so on can be used in court to prove irresponsibility.
- Avoid conflict and keep your conversation only about the children.
- Keep firm boundaries. “Your boundaries will provide the consistency that you and your children need to be healthy.” [3]
- Do what is best for your children regardless of the effects it has on your ex-spouse.
- Make up for the narcissist’s neglect and give your child the reassurance and love they need.
- Be a good role model for your child and also encourage their interests.
- Try parallel parenting: “Parallel parenting allows both parents to make decisions regarding the children when the children are under their care.” [3]
Sources:
[1] Divorced Moms, “Is Your Child Being Emotionally Abused By Your Ex.” http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/coparenting-with-a-narcissist-what-to-do-when-your-children-are-being-emotionally-abused- (May 10, 2016). [2] Psychology Today, “Narcissistic Parents’ Psychological Effect on Their Children.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201405/narcissistic-parents-psychological-effect-their-children (May 1, 2014). [3] Love to Know, “Co-Parenting with a Narcissist.” https://family.lovetoknow.com/co-parenting-narcissistDisclaimer: We are pleased to communicate with you concerning your family matters. However, if you communicate with us through the web regarding a matter for which our firm does not already represent you, your communication may not be treated as privileged or confidential, and shall not be deemed to create an attorney/client relationship. Furthermore, you should not provide confidential information to anyone at our law firm in an e-mail inquiry or otherwise unless we have first entered into a representation agreement. By continuing to our website you are deemed to have agreed to these terms and conditions.